7 Interesting Real Estate Jokes

Wrong Flowers

A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace.”
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home.

Ask For Raise 

 I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.

Sell Shoes

Two managing agents decided to start a new career to sell shoe.
The two managing agents go to Africa to open up new markets.
Three days after arriving, one managing agent said, "I’m returning on the next flight.
Can’t sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other real managing sent an email to the factory,
telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"

 

Frogs Vs Real Estate Broker

Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: “Help me, ladies! I am a real estate broker who, through a curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I’ll be returned to my former state!”

One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman said, “Didn’t you hear him? If you kiss him, he’ll turn into a real estate broker!”

The second woman replied, “Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a real estate broker!”

Main Entrance

A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ‘BEST AGENTS.’

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ‘LOWEST COMMISSIONS.’

The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: ‘MAIN ENTRANCE’.

A Realty Salesman 

A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. “That customer’s going to come back here pretty mad,” he said to his boss. “Should I give him his money back?” “Money back?” roared the boss. “What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat.”

Wife Or Mistress 

A doctor, a lawyer and a real estate agent were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.  

The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."
The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The real estate agent says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife -- you free up more time to list, negotiate and sell!

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Avoid Some Common Home Moving Mistakes

Despite the excitement to live in a new place, many people find moving a home stressful. Packing a lot of stuff also leads to panic. In this stress many people commit mistakes which ultimately loss of time, energy and money. But it can be made less stressful if you avoid the following home moving mistakes.

Proper Planning

It is the first step in home moving. People who fail to make step by step guide will ultimately face lot of stress. That’s why planning is one of the preliminary step in successful home moving. Plan each and every thing, where will you relocate, when and on which day? Will you hire professionals or do it yourself? Proper planning makes things less stressful.

Setting the budget

Without money home moving can not be completed. There is need to set a budget before moving. Moving of course involve extra expenses like expense for moving van, meal and so on. So you must know your financial position.

Visit your new home

Many people just rely on their property management company and do not make prior visit to their new home. So it’s better to make at least one visits before having in order to check that every thing is in order and working properly like appliances, heating, cooling and electric system etc.

Hiring a professional

One most difficult thing is to transfer your all belongings to new place. Many people try to do it yourself, just to save some amount of money. Don’t do that. You may save some amount by not hiring a professional but this can suffer you in your belongings loss. So to move your household items, hire some professional’s services that have sufficient experience to do the task successfully.

Consider packing

Packing is one of the important steps in successful moving. If it’s not done properly then you might experience stress and anxiety. Therefore rush for a packing at the end day. Find enough time to pack all items. Always invest in good quality boxes otherwise these would be ripping off and will damage your all items.  

Avoid unnecessary items to move

Many people take unnecessary items with them. It would increase your expenses because moving company charges you on how much items you shipped. It’s better to sell unnecessary items. In this way you will get some cash which you can use for moving expenses.

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Easy Steps For Home Relocation

Home relocation is stressful experience for most of the people. Now matter for what reason (family, Job, education) you are moving your property but it is a complicated process. There is lot of work will be done before leaving your home. That’s why proper planning is necessary to make this process smooth.

Get Started

After deciding about home relocation, the first step is to choose a place where you want to relocate.  What are your requirements in a new home town? What facilities are you looking for?

Mental preparation is necessary. But without money this process of relocation can not be completed.  So your pocket must be ready along with your mind. Assess your financial position. Have you sufficient amount for relocation expenses. Make an estimate of relocation package. You can consult with your friends, relatives who live in that area.

Plan & Pack

After planning each and every thing now it’s time to relocate. If your are moving first time then you are not sure about what things are needed. You can take advice from some one else. An experienced mind can give you better advice.

If you have lot of things to bring along with you then it’s good to take services of moving companies. Never contact them at eleventh hour. Contact them at least before a month to get confirmed that trucks are available at that day when you will move. Before selecting a moving company make it sure that it is properly insured and reputable. Is company takes good care of customer’s belonging or not? Negotiate each and every thing from what you want to take with them to charges of that company. Now start packing and assign task to every one to make it easy and smooth process.

Moving Day

After packing all your belongings now moving day has come. Check all necessary items that are very essential to take with you like wallet, credit cards, water, food items, towels, any important files, documents and medical record etc. mark this box clearly to differentiate it from other boxes. Load the trucks and keep record of all boxes. Get a photocopy of all items to keep as a record. Get contact details of moving company in case of any need. Check all parts of your home that nothing is left. After reaching at your new home, unload the truck. Walk with your managing agents to make it sure that every thing is at its proper place.

Settle In

Congratulations you are now in your new home. Unpack all boxes and confirm that is anything missing or not? Keep every thing at its proper place to give your home an attractive look. Explore your surroundings to get familiar with it. Develop relationship with your neighbors. With the passage of time you would be familiar with each and everything.

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Closet Become Office in Simple Steps

For a small home this is the biggest problem to adjust your working area or office in your own home. Sometimes you don`t have much money to start an office at separate place, also sometimes your home is small and don` t have much place to adjust working table, lamp and bookshelf. Sometimes people simply want to do extra work at their own home. In all these cases small area of your home can create trouble. 
 So here I am coming with an excellent solution where your closet could become your office.

You are required to apply these following simple steps

Tools and Requirements:

• Measure the size of your cabinet. Select which of the closet you want to edit as your office.
• Your cabinet width should minimum 8 to 12 fit Long. (So things would adjust easily)
• You are required to have wooden boards to make your book shelf and table. At this stage you can also find some small book shelves in market. These shelves are easily adjustable on the wall.
• If you are going to create our own Wooden Board shelf choose the wood according to your budget. Choose the small and smart handles of Drawers.
• Purchase Locks according to your requirement. (If you want to lock some of the drawers having important documents)
• You need wires according to requirement with Light Holders or Small adjustable lamps.

Procedure:

The procedure of this DIY Project is quite simple.

• Make the number boxes and Drawers according to your need and style. I am suggesting you here some of the styles.You can call carpenter or DIY.
• Cut the Boards according the size of your area and start combining them in a form of shelf. Use large Neils and hammer in this regard.
• Remember to leave an empty place in the mid as a table where you would be able to place your PC or Laptop.
• Place the switchboards in a way that they are not visible and safe from any spark.
• Leave a space in the bottom of your computer shelf, so you can place a small stool or Folding chair under that. 

Additive Ideas:

• You can decor this area now by adding a small Clock, Vase, Pen holder etc. Place a dustbin under the shelf. Paint the wood in any colour or leave the wood as its original colour (only if the wood was polished). You can choose Sliding Doors for the shelves also to keep your files save.

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Keep Track of Expenses | 6 Online Expense Management Software

You are a House wife, Business Man or an employed person. Tracking expenses is a thing that you need always and everywhere. Keeping track of expenses in a good way will help you against extravagances, and any kind of future loss.  

When I was young, my father and mother used to track of expenses in a small diary. Things changed fast and shifted to Computers. People started to note down every Expense in MS Excel.

Things have gone much beyond. Now there are many of the Online Software available that help you to keep track of your expenses.  

BILL Q

TextThog

Expense View

Expense Register

Xpenser

Mid Salt

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Home | Right Selection Of Color

Home improvement can be done using different techniques and ways. One of them is right use of colors. Whenever you design your home then color scheme is very important. Color psychology is important because it shows your taste and who are you. These are powerful tools to show your emotions, to set your mood, to create space illusion and for atmosphere of any particular room. These are powerful form of communication. Before choosing colors for home it is necessary to understand their meaning so that you can select them according to your choice.

Red

It’s a color of love, confidence, and courage. But to much red color makes you over excited. It also brings strong emotions.

Orange

It is used to express yourself with confidence. It reduces self- consciousness and expands your thinking. It’s a color of creativity. It’s a color of laughter, friendliness, and celebration. It’s a good choice for kitchen, dining rooms, and creative areas.

Green

It is color of prosperity, fresh start, and growth. It represents nature. This color is appropriate for most of areas of homes.

Yellow

It is a color of concentration, warm and cheerfulness. It enhances focus, intelligence, and mental agility. This is most visible color. It is suitable for entrance areas.

Pink

It’s a youthful and feminine color. It is most suitable for girl’s room. 

Deep Blue

It’s a color of efficiency. It purifies your thinking and helps you to take what is most important in life. It also represents calmness and safety. It is a good color for bedrooms and bathrooms.

Purple

It is a color of spirituality. It encourages fresh perspective. It is indeed luxurious color. It also represents dignity and soberness. 

By understanding the meaning and psychology of each color, now you can choose color for your home according to your choice.

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Rental Property | DIY Vs Hire a Property Management Company

After investing in rental property, the first question which comes in mind is how you will manage this property. There are two options for you. You can manage it yourself or can hire property management company. Managing rental property is not an easy task. There are many issues involved in it. It needs sufficient skills and experience. If you don’t have then its better to hire property management company. Here are few important issues which should be kept in mind.

• Managing a rental property does not only mean to collect rent? It involves other issues like maintenance and repair etc. If you don’t have sufficient experience then your tenants can take advantage of your inefficiency. So it’s better to consult with property management company which has sufficient skills, knowledge, and experience to handle all these issues.

• To manage one or two home is comparatively easy. But if you have property in large amount then keep in mind some questions. Are you having sufficient time to devote it? Is your schedule flexible? Have you other commitments also like job etc? The answer of these questions will realize you that hiring a property management company is a better option.

• If your property has regular repair and maintenance problem and you don’t have sufficient time to devote for it. Then it’s better to consult with property management company who can look upon all these matters.

• To manage property which is near to your home is easy. But if your property located far away from your home then have an eye for every time is difficult. So it’s better to give rights to property management company to look after it.

• If you need a small assistance then you can hire property management company for part time services. But for complete solution you will hire it for full time. It all depends upon how many services you are required.

• As in this case you will depend upon property management company. So before choosing a property management company, do enough research? Check image and reputation of that company. Ask from your references or any other who had worked with that company. Once you select then keep eye on its services whether it’s performing well or not.

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